PRODUCTIVE OUTS

Apropos of our discussion in PRODcast 46, here’s Houston...

Wed, 15 May 2013 10:24:47 -0700

Apropos of our discussion in PRODcast 46, here’s Houston Astros second baseman Jake Elmore flashing some 70-grade DERP.

Great show. Long show. Lot of emails. We laughed together, we...

Tue, 14 May 2013 22:26:00 -0700

Great show. Long show. Lot of emails. We laughed together, we cried together. We maybe even learned something. About each other — and about ourselves.

There was also Hunter Pence.

Here’s the rundown …

SO MANY EMAILS

Musical Guest: KVELERTAK. Their new album is called MEIR, and it rules.

Human Guest: Jason Collette of BaseballProspectus, the Towers Of Power Fantasy Hour Podcast, Rotowire, TheProcessReport, & RJBullpen (Did we miss anything?)

Baseball Things: We are obliged to talk about them.

Ian’s trip to Houston for the BP event
In da SFG clubhouse
Ankiel’s new home
Altuve’s subluxed jaw
Harper’s defleshed face
Sale’s lerpy limbs

What’s Next?

Ian’s Punk Hits column at BP
Riley’s Battle of LA for Getting Blanked and heading out on tour with Jimmy Eat World

FAREWELL, INTERNET

My favorite #SCOUT of all time, posted here for posterity.

Wed, 08 May 2013 12:00:49 -0700

My favorite #SCOUT of all time, posted here for posterity.

We’re on something of a roll here: two shows in two weeks!...

Wed, 08 May 2013 08:12:52 -0700

We’re on something of a roll here: two shows in two weeks! And they’re both really good, if we do say so ourselves. (We do.)

Here’s the haps.

Your (Expurgated) Emails

Musical Guest: Cult Of Luna

Human Guest: Marc Normandin of SBNation, Over The Monster and elsewhere

Baseball Talk:

The Angels are horrible
The Giants swept LOLs Dodgers
Roy Halladay: Done? A grinder or selfish?
The “Royal ‘We””, always a pertinent topic
Proper LOLmenclature: A Field Guide
J.A. Happ: We really hope you’re OK.

What’s Next:

Ian at BP, the Houston BP Event and other things
Riley at Getting Blanked & PureVolume

Mark Reynolds Does A Mark Reynoldsian Thing

Tue, 07 May 2013 09:18:00 -0700

He hit the pissfarts out of a baseball.

THREE TRUE OUTCOMES!

Anyway …

This is Mark Reynolds’ solo blast off of Jarrod Parker yesterday.

The pitch: A letter-high, 94-mph two-seamer right down the heart of the dish.

The swing: Eh, it’s on the awkward side, but it’s awfully effective. Chalk that up to his otherworldly HULK STRENGTH (especially in his lower half … HULK BUTT*?). I’m not a huge fan of the toe tap, because it’s a timing mechanism that can send several other parts of the swing awry when it’s not clicking. His left arm, bat plane and finish make it look like he’s casting a table cloth over a dining room table or throwing a frisbee, but HULK STRENGTH has the power to overcome wonky mechanics every now and then.

*It might sound weird, but I have a strong desire to see Mark Reynolds in shorts.

The velocity off the bat: 112.7 mph

The elevation angle: 28.7º

True distance: 457 feet

The verdict: He pimped the shit outta this blast*. Parker dosed Reynolds in his first AB, Reynolds was not pleased about it, and instead of charging the mound like a nameless steakheaded ogre from San Diego, he decided to settle the score like a man and hit the piss out of a baseball. A safe and effective alternative to player-on-player violence.

*It took Reynolds nearly 26 seconds to round the bases.

It looks like Google has already decided that the Astros are...

Mon, 06 May 2013 11:50:43 -0700

It looks like Google has already decided that the Astros are picking first in the 2014 Rule 4 draft and that they’re taking Carlos Rodon.

Miguel Cabrera Is A ... Whatever, Just Watch This

Sun, 05 May 2013 07:48:00 -0700

This is Miguel Cabrera’s solo shot off of Jose Cisnero yesterday.

The pitch: A 1-0, 79-mph, get-me-over curveball that hung for so you’d think it was sitting on a tee adjusted to lower thigh-level.

The swing: So frustratingly pretty, controlled and effective. He’s so freaking serene as the pitch is released. (It’s probably fairly easy to exude that sort of confidence when you have the ability to make playing an extremely difficult game look laughably easy.) It’s beautiful; a conservative little load, an efficient stride, a slight hitch of the hands before the left foot gets down, and holy crap … once that front foot gets down, just watch his freaking hands. That is 100% pure, uncut swingpr0n. And mmm, that extension and high finish. ‘Tis a glorious sight. My favorite thing is that after all of this beauty and baseball destruction, Cabrera is just like, “Hmph. Crushed another one,” on his way to going 4-for-4 with 6 RBI.

JUST ANOTHER DAY AT THE OFFICE.

The velocity off the bat: 105.6 mph

The elevation angle: 26.3º

True distance: 412 feet

The verdict: You might be wondering why I picked a bomb that was only hit 412 feet, in a band box of a ballpark, against a pitching staff that is awful at best. The answer to that, is the ease with which Cabrera does this. Sure, he can make fielding, running and staying out of trouble look difficult at times, but this is ridiculous. It’s even more ridiculous because he catches this pus off the end of the bat and still hits a laser off the Crawford Boxes.

Hank Conger Gets Clipped By A Sniper

Sat, 04 May 2013 18:37:37 -0700

Matt Holliday Is A Hulking Mass Of Forearm Meat

Sat, 04 May 2013 09:00:00 -0700

This is Matt Holliday’s two-run blast off of Kyle Lohse yesterday.

The pitch: A 2-2, 93-mph Lohsian flat-brimmed sinker that ended up sitting middle-in and knee-high (which is not exactly the spot you want a pitch to end up when you’re facing a guy who looks like a ginormous real-life version of those old M.U.S.C.L.E figurines from the 80s.)

The swing: The thing I’m most fascinated by here (aside from the ungodly Home Run Tracker details you’re about to see) is this …

That’s gorgeous. Firm front-side, great balance, beautiful extension, the right hand punching the inner-half of that ball, the head still and seeing it all and HOLY FUCK LOOK AT THE SIZE OF HIS GODDAMN ARMS.

Look at the size of all of him, actually. He’s like the pale Hulk.

“The Pale Hulk”. That’s got a nice ring to it, no? Better than “Big Daddy”?

The velocity off the bat: 111.9 mph

The elevation angle: 22.9º

True distance: 458 feet*

*I guessed 460+. I figured a ball hit that hard, that bounced (hard, mind you) off the jumbotron signage at this point …

… above a wall that is 400 feet from homeplate might have had a little more than a 458-foot jaunt in it’s flight plan, but I won’t argue with math.

Also, that baseball is dead.

The verdict: I love it when a hitter turns on one and hits to the pull field, but there is no swingpr0n that makes me more excited than seeing a guy stay back on a pitch, and crush the absolute shit out of it (420+) to dead center or the opposite field. This is indeed that. It’s freaky, rare, raw, stupid and goddamned incredible.

We’re back from yet another unintentional hiatus with a...

Thu, 02 May 2013 08:36:00 -0700

We’re back from yet another unintentional hiatus with a killer show for you, Internet denizen. Here’s it’s is:

Intro
Emails from lunatics
Musical Guest: COLISEUM
Human Guest: Eno Sarris of FanGraphs
Baseball Talk
LA BP event - Parks, Miller, Thorburn, Sutton, Kasten, Colletti & boring baseball
Ian’s trip to O.co
The Halos BLOLpen
It’s a bad time to have hamstrings
Why are the Rockies?

What’s Next?

Ian bought a new bass and some other stuff
Riley guest posting at McC, Getting Blanked, PureVolume

Goodbye world!

And now Barry Zito jamming with Metallica.

Wed, 01 May 2013 14:57:36 -0700

giantsnaattt:

Nat the best.

We found someone to carry the torch of DERP while our hero Jeff...

Wed, 01 May 2013 07:33:17 -0700

We found someone to carry the torch of DERP while our hero Jeff Karstens is on the DL.

Mark Trumbo Hit The Everloving Piss Out Of A Baseball

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 10:32:00 -0700

This is Mark Trumbo’s solo bomb off of Dan Straily yesterday.

The pitch: A belt-high, middle-in, 91 mph, four-seam fastball.

The swing: Perfect. Nice quiet load, gets the front foot down and just unloads the hips and hands. His right hand goes at that baseball like he’s trying to punch it in the mouth. It’s a beautiful thing, and it’s just ridiculous, ridiculous power.

The velocity off the bat: 120.1 mph

absolutely SWEET MOTHER OF F—

That’s the highest velocity of a home run this season by almost 3 mph, and the highest velocity since noted Destroyer Of Baseballs™ Giancarlo Stanton hit an absolute laser (off a guy who’s probably as old as your dad) and exploded the scoreboard in that acid flashback of a stadium in Miami last season.

The elevation angle: 20.6˚

True distance: 475 feet

The verdict: I’m not really sure you can hit a ball any harder than that ball is hit. After Trumbo murdered Straily’s offering, I spent a solid ten minutes watching the blast over and over, laughing maniacally, staring at my TV and basically doing this …

amandarykoff: mlb: Brandon Moss gets two pies to the face,...

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 09:10:03 -0700

amandarykoff:

mlb:

Brandon Moss gets two pies to the face, then washes it down with Gatorade.

The rare self-pie celebration. Love it.

DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND how goofy you need to look to make...

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 16:53:09 -0700

DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND how goofy you need to look to make Eduardo Nunez the SECOND-goofiest guy in the lineup? You, Mr. Overbay, are a true star.

Chris Davis Makes Baseball Look Easy

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 09:09:03 -0700

This is Chris Davis’ solo shot off of Sean Doolittle yesterday.

The pitch: An 0-2, belt-high, 82 mph slider on the outside black.

The swing: Kinda like this …

It looks like Davis gets fooled here (both in pitch type and location) and as a result, his hips and ass are gone by the time the ball gets into the hitting zone. And since his hips and ass are gone, he has to reeeach to get to out to a slider that on its way to becoming a backwards K in the scorebook. Getting that kind of plate coverage when your lower half is already on its way back to the bench is awfully hard … unless you drop a hand off the stick, cast that bat as wide as you can, flick your wrists, pack on 50+ lbs. of pure muscle and have elite hand-eye coordination. IT’S JUST THAT EASY! Results may include …

The velocity off the bat: 104.3 mph

The elevation angle: 26.7º

The distance: 419 feet

The verdict: Ri-goddamn-diculous. We mentioned how frustratingly effortless Davis makes decimating a baseball appear in this post, and this is just further proof. He hit a ball into the second tank at O.co Coliseum with ONE FUCKING HAND and virtually no lower half.

Jason Vargas: Not Stoked

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 16:10:11 -0700

The 2013 Angels in GIF form.

Giancarlo Stanton Is A Pus-Crushing Colossus

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 08:24:00 -0700

This is Giancarlo Stanton’s solo shot off of Travis Wood yesterday.

Seriously. Watch the video and note how tiny the ball looks as it exits the Earth’s atmosphere.

The pitch: A belt-high, 89 mph cutter that cut right into Stanton’s wheelhouse.

The swing: Torque-O-Rama. It’s incredible to watch that much man uncoil and unleash so much power. (I realize how disgusting that previous sentence might seem if it were taken out of context and I kind of apologize for that but not really.) I’m fascinated by Stanton’s swing because it seems so stiff, yet it’s still so incredibly powerful. His body looks like he’s swinging underwater, but his bat speed makes it look like he’s swinging in space.

The velocity off the bat: 116.6 mph (4th fastest this season)

The elevation angle: 30.2º

“True” distance: 440 feet*

*MLB Network had it at 472 feet, which would be the third biggest blast this year — placing it behind Anthony Rizzo’s 475-foot shot on April 18th and Todd Frazier’s mammoth bomb that was rumored to be 480 feet on April 24th (but registered all zeroes on ESPN’s Home Run Tracker).

The verdict: We’ve been waiting nearly a month for this moment, jonesing for a blast (any blast, really) from Stanton. And he delivered in glorious fashion.

Welcome back, you magnificent freak!

Chris Carter Is A Quiet Assassin (Of Baseballs)

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 08:51:00 -0700

This is Chris Carter’s solo shot off of Joe Saunders yesterday.

The pitch: A 3-2, letter-high. 89.7 mph two-seamer.

The swing: Beautifully boring. He’s incredibly quiet at the dish, has no stride, loads by getting up on his front toe, and then … BAM! MAN STRENGTH. It’s freakish. The GIF doesn’t nearly do it justice. Watch this. And listen to the sound of that baseball getting obliterated.

(No, really … watch it. Now. We’ll wait.)

Welcome back. That was amazing, wasn’t it?

Now to the numbers!

The velocity off the bat: 104.4 mph

(We saw tweets saying it might have been 111 mph, and are leaning toward the higher of the two numbers because holy crap.)

The elevation angle: 35.2º

“True” distance: 399 ft

(*That’s a giant pile of horseshit. Maybe the lights above the train tracks that rudely interrupted the ball’s direct flight to Oklahoma City were 399 feet away, but that ball was headed 450+. Easily.)

The verdict: Chris Carter straight up broke ESPN’s Home Run Tracker. Astros Director of Pro Scouting Kevin Goldstein said that the team’s Trackman system had the blast at 460 feet, but added that it also lost track of the trajectory of the ball. ESPN’s tracker just gave up and took some of the afternoon off (as evidenced by it’s data on Todd Frazier’s massive bomb yesterday in Cincinnati).

We salute you and your boring ManStrength™, Chris Carter.

WE’RE BACK after long and much-needed hiatus!...

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 16:38:06 -0700

WE’RE BACK after long and much-needed hiatus! Here’s what’s in store for you, valued listener!

Open

Emails
Musical guest: AKIMBO
Riley interviews Ian — or was it the other way around?
Some baseball chatta
What’s next
Go home, you’re drunk

Thanks for listening and playing along at home!

r&i