April 29th, 2013
hermitologist

Chris Davis Makes Baseball Look Easy

This is Chris Davis’ solo shot off of Sean Doolittle yesterday.

The pitch: An 0-2, belt-high, 82 mph slider on the outside black.

The swing: Kinda like this … 

It looks like Davis gets fooled here (both in pitch type and location) and as a result, his hips and ass are gone by the time the ball gets into the hitting zone. And since his hips and ass are gone, he has to reeeach to get to out to a slider that on its way to becoming a backwards K in the scorebook. Getting that kind of plate coverage when your lower half is already on its way back to the bench is awfully hard … unless you drop a hand off the stick, cast that bat as wide as you can, flick your wrists, pack on 50+ lbs. of pure muscle and have elite hand-eye coordination. IT’S JUST THAT EASY! Results may include … 

The velocity off the bat: 104.3 mph

The elevation angle: 26.7º

The distance: 419 feet

The verdict: Ri-goddamn-diculous. We mentioned how frustratingly effortless Davis makes decimating a baseball appear in this post, and this is just further proof. He hit a ball into the second tank at O.co Coliseum with ONE FUCKING HAND and virtually no lower half.

April 5th, 2013
hermitologist

BONUS CONTENT: More Chris Davis Because WHOA

This is Chris Davis’ three-run bomb off of Jeremy Hellickson on April 3rd.

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The pitch: A 3-2, 91 mph fastball ~2-3” off the plate.

The swing: Not as buttery smooth as usual. He loses his front side early, but keeps his hands back, and then … 

 The velocity off the bat: 108.4 mph

The elevation angle: 23.4º

The distance (horizontally): 422 feet. Oppo. With a sold out front side. 

The verdict: Chris Davis has superhuman strength and traps like an ox and the dreamiest eyes and he launches balls a long way to the opposite field even when he guesses wrong and it makes the front of our pants feel funny.

April 5th, 2013
hermitologist

Chris Davis Is Fine-Tuned Pile Of Deltoids

This is Chris Davis’ three-run rainmaker off of Jake McGee on April 2nd.

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The pitch: A first pitch, letter-high, 91 mph fastball. AKA: A mistake.

The swing: Like this, but left-handed.

 The velocity off the bat: 102.1 mph

The elevation angle: 30.5º

The distance (horizontally): 396 feet

The distance (vertically): This ball broke through the roof of The Trop, bounced off the moon, burst into flames on its fall back to Earth, broke a second hole in the Trop’s roof, and landed in the right field bleachers as a smoldering pile of horsehide, wool and yarn.

The verdict: That is torque, my friends. And phenomenal brute strength. But also torque. Goddamn does he make it look effortless.

September 19th, 2012
teenarcher
Zoom Orioles playoff odds as of this writing, according to the Baseball Prospectus super-computer: 77.6%, the highest mark of the year. Look at that orange line! It’s like the elevation profile of a Tour de France stage.  Go O’s! 

Orioles playoff odds as of this writing, according to the Baseball Prospectus super-computer: 77.6%, the highest mark of the year. Look at that orange line! It’s like the elevation profile of a Tour de France stage. 

Go O’s! 

September 8th, 2012
hermitologist

Adam Jones Hit The Absolute Piss Out Of A Baseball Last Night

This is Adam Jones’ three-run home run off of Phil Hughes last night.

The Pitch: An 0-0 flat, letter-high, four-seam fastball that couldn’t have been any more hittable unless it were on a tee.

The Swing: Compact, controlled and violent. Like an angry wild boar trapped in a phone booth. And jeez, watch his hands. Look at those hands! And those hips?! Swoon.

The Velocity Off The Bat: 110.1 mph

The Elevation Angle: 23.3º

The Distance: 442 feet

The Verdict: Home runs are the best. Home runs that come against the Yankees are better. Home runs that come against the Yankees in a Yankees loss are the bestest. In the immortal words of Meatloaf,  ”Two out of three ain’t bad.”


Two musicians who love baseball, but don't take it too seriously.

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