PRODUCTIVE OUTS

Jose Canseco is still trying to shove his ‘roid-infused business back into baseball’s open holes. Namely, the open holes on the Colorado Rockies’ coaching staff, where Canseco’s former Oakland A’s teammate Walt Weiss was named manager last week.

Thanks for everyones concern but to answer your question the @rockies have not called for an interview for hitting or frost base coach.

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) November 10, 2012

Canseco: /clutching iPhone and fiddling with Camera settings, trying to figure out why the pictures he took of himself in his new Affliction tee are showing up as pictures of himself wearing an noiƚɔilʇʇA tee.

Canseco: /texts former A’s utility infielder Mike Gallego

Canseco: hey Miek whatsup

Gallego: Oh, hey Hosey.

Canseco: yaygo hey bro. listen you talked to weisser about a gig yet/

Gallego: Nah, man. I’m all good. Happy to be in Oakland. We’ve got a solid squad. Had one hell of a year. Ready to do it again next year. Got some young horses.

Canseco: listen bro. you think Weisser might wantana hire me in as a frost base coach next year?

Gallego: Frost base coach? I don’t even … what in God’s name is that?

Canseco: bro I wamt to coach frost base for the Rokies

Gallego: Is that like an undershirt from The North Face or something? I’m not following you here.

Canseco: I COMPLETE YOU