Don’t get it twisted: Failure is ALWAYS an option.

(0:00-4:23) The open

(4:55-12:20) The musical guest: FAILURE. Buy “The Heart Is a Monster” here.

(12:20-31:45) Electronic mail from weirdos

(32:15-59:30) Pipin’-hot baseball takes

• RIP Alex Gordon, RIP Miggy
• Matz’ latz
• #FirstPlaceAstros lead is dwindling; Evan Gattis’ absurd tomahawk chop
• Mike Trout is beasting (again). Fun w/ arbitrary end points … last 11 games, .368/.510/.868/1.378 OPS, 6 HR, 10 RBI
• Halos have won 5 in a row, 9 of last 10
• Huston Street angered the baseball gods and is suffering their wrath
• All-Stars announced, final votes
• HR Derby field announced, who u got?

(1:00:08-1:05:10) Musical advice: What next for a new band, play shows or record?

(1:05:10) This week’s OLD SCHOOL PLAYER OF THE WEEK IS…

CARMEN FANZONE

An 80-grade name. A 60 - 70 mustache. 50 DADHAT. And a 70 horn player. Fanzone played five years as a utility player and pinch hitter in the bigs with the Red Sox and Cubes. Traded to the Cubes in 1971 for Phil Gagliano, which is the most Italian trade. Never played in more than 86 games in a season, has 20 career bombs, -0.8 WAR. Fanzone became a jazz flugelhorn player after his baseball career ended.