hermitologist 

FILE UNDER: THE BEST WORST IDEAS
Balls SIZZLING over everyone’s heads, trampolines, booze, food, live music, a dunk tank, 500 inebriated morons, sugar-addled children, motorized vehicles, an actual crane (this thing, not the bird), shitty mascots, and professional baseball players trying to hit baseballs as hard as they possibly can…
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?!
(huge thanks to Mike Ferrin for the tip)