April 14th, 2013
hermitologist

Evan Gattis Is An Ogre With A Battle Axe

This is Evan Gattis’ two-run bomb off of Stephen Strasburg yesterday.

 The pitch: An 0-1, eye-high, 97 mph fastball from most peoples’ pick to win the NL Cy Young.

The swing: Explosive. I can’t help but think of Captain Caveman*.

*A far better nickname for Gattis than “El Oso Blanco” or whatever the hell they’re calling him in Atlanta.

 The velocity off the bat: 106.1 mph

The elevation angle: 29.1º

The distance: 426 feet

The verdict: Lumberjack beard? Check. No batting gloves? Check. Freakish levels of DadStrength™? Check. Lightning quick hands? Check. Fascinating back story? Check. Plays a position that you have to be an absolute lunatic to play (and genuinely seems to enjoy it)? Check. 

We’re in love.

14 notes·
Evan Gattis Atlanta Braves baseball MLB sports swing pr0n swingpr0n
May 22nd, 2011
hermitologist
This Fangraphs graph from last night’s Angels v. Braves game is like a look inside my brain while I try to make a decision. “Yeah…uh…yeah…err…yeah, definitely.” “Ehh.” “Hmm.” “I guess…maybe?” “Nah.” “Well…maybe.” “Nah.” “Maybe?” “Nah.” “Ya know…I think actually…maybe, yeah.” “OH, FUCK IT.”

This Fangraphs graph from last night’s Angels v. Braves game is like a look inside my brain while I try to make a decision.

“Yeah…uh…yeah…err…yeah, definitely.”

“Ehh.”

“Hmm.”

“I guess…maybe?”

“Nah.”

“Well…maybe.”

“Nah.”

“Maybe?”

“Nah.”

“Ya know…I think actually…maybe, yeah.”

“OH, FUCK IT.”

12 notes·
Los Angeles Angels Atlanta Braves Fangraphs self deprecation real talk
May 13th, 2011
hermitologist
Zoom Knowing that we have a fair share of Giants fans with their eyes on this blog, I decided to peruse some Giants rosters of yore to see if I could dig up an “80 name” player a la Slade Heathcott for you folks. The result was obviously quite fruitful, not only because it uncovered weatherman outfielder, Champ Summers, but because it led me to what was probably the most epic brawl in the history of Major League Baseball. I can’t stop watching that clip. Kurt Bevacqua entering the fray like he’s in the pit at a Hatebreed show is comedy gold, and Champ flipping the switch and going into Central-Floridian-shirtless-meth-head-on-COPS mode is truly Artestian. He barrels across the diamond, hellbent on tearing the limbs off of a cocaine-fueled Pascual Perez and beating everyone in a Braves uniform to death with them. Is August 10th officially Champ Summers Day? It damn well better be.

Knowing that we have a fair share of Giants fans with their eyes on this blog, I decided to peruse some Giants rosters of yore to see if I could dig up an “80 name” player a la Slade Heathcott for you folks. The result was obviously quite fruitful, not only because it uncovered weatherman outfielder, Champ Summers, but because it led me to what was probably the most epic brawl in the history of Major League Baseball.

I can’t stop watching that clip. Kurt Bevacqua entering the fray like he’s in the pit at a Hatebreed show is comedy gold, and Champ flipping the switch and going into Central-Floridian-shirtless-meth-head-on-COPS mode is truly Artestian. He barrels across the diamond, hellbent on tearing the limbs off of a cocaine-fueled Pascual Perez and beating everyone in a Braves uniform to death with them.

Is August 10th officially Champ Summers Day? It damn well better be.

11 notes·
San Francisco Giants Champ Summers brawls San Diego Padres Atlanta Braves Pascual Perez

Two musicians who love baseball, but don't take it too seriously.

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