March 14th, 2013
hermitologist
Zoom Everything in its right place.

Everything in its right place.

5 notes·
sports MLB Pittsburgh Pirates Jeff Karstens DERP
February 14th, 2013
hermitologist
Zoom The first Jeff Karstens sighting of the spring reveals that our hero could very well be in the best shape of his life.

The first Jeff Karstens sighting of the spring reveals that our hero could very well be in the best shape of his life.

7 notes·
KarstensFace DERP sports baseball Pittsburgh Pirates
July 23rd, 2012
hermitologist
Zoom Jeff Karstens, threw seven scoreless innings in a 3-0 victory over that team from Miami that wears uniforms that look like they were designed by a Project Runway castoff on blotter acid. Much to our dismay, photographers at PNC Park were unable to capture much of his derpness in all of its glory, leaving us with only one screencap of Derpivision (PIP) to show for those seven innings of works. Tha horrah! But… Jeff Karstens still has a face, you guys, even though there weren’t many photos of it. This is the seventeenth installment in our ongoing tribute to him. And his face.

Jeff Karstens, threw seven scoreless innings in a 3-0 victory over that team from Miami that wears uniforms that look like they were designed by a Project Runway castoff on blotter acid. Much to our dismay, photographers at PNC Park were unable to capture much of his derpness in all of its glory, leaving us with only one screencap of Derpivision (PIP) to show for those seven innings of works. Tha horrah!

But…

Jeff Karstens still has a face, you guys, even though there weren’t many photos of it.

This is the seventeenth installment in our ongoing tribute to him. And his face.

6 notes·
sports Pittsburgh Pirates Jeff Karstens KarstensFace DERP baseball
July 19th, 2012
hermitologist

BREAKING: Max Scherzer has a face, you guys.

Presenting…

Max Hurrzer. Seven innings of mostly filthy, kinda erratic (4 BBs), strikeouty (9 Ks), one run on three hits kinda hurp-a-derp .

13 notes·
Detroit Tigers Max Scherzer DERP HURP MURP HURR sports
July 17th, 2012
hermitologist

DERPability: Grading Pitchers Taken In The First Round Of The 2012 MLB Draft

Those of you who frequent Productive Outs are probably well-aware of our obsession with DERPability, a facial condition that has manifested itself at an elite level in the utterly fascinating face area of Jeff Karstens of the the Pittsburgh Pirates.

For those of you who are new to the site (and our obsession), this…

is DERP.

Given the July 13th signing deadline for players taken in this year’s MLB Draft (and the chatter it spawned in the baseball twitterverse), I thought might be interesting to take a detailed look at the amount of DERP selected in the first round of the 2012 MLB Draft.

So, buckle up, hunker down, or do whatever-it-is-you-do in your preferred direction, and join me as we do just that.

If you find that your face hurts after reading this piece, congratulations. You did it right. 

Read More

16 notes·
sports baseball DERP MLB 2012 MLB Draft

Two musicians who love baseball, but don't take it too seriously.

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