An epic showdown took place at Coors Field last night, as Productive Outs’ revered DERP magnate, Jeff Karstens, battled the preeminent purveyor of FLERP, Jeff Francis.
H.R. DERPnSTERP threw seven solid innings, save a mild disaster of a fifth inning, utilizing his full arsenal of derptastic pitches, giving up four runs on six hits before Pirates manager Clint
Purple Hurdle pulled him so that Jason Grilli could eventually blow it in the ninth.
The FLERPasaurus had a typical awkward soft-tossing lefty start, as he thumbed his way through five mostly boring innings of one run, six hit ball before giving way to the Rockies bullpen and a newfangled relief troop called the Rex Brothers who vultured a win after blowing their fifth save of the year.
While neither DERP nor FLERP did anything really remarkable or noteworthy, their faces did, including getting together for a few adult sodas after the ballgame.
Jeff Karstens has a face, you guys. And so does Jeff Francis.
This is a tribute to them and their faces.
CLIK TEH PICUTRE A BOVE TO SEA A BREATHETAKIGN SLIDSHPW OF CARSTAINS & FARNCS