August 20th, 2012

Jeff Karstens is back, and AP photographers were savvy enough to capture proof. After a few weeks of ZERO photographic proof of the presence of DERP in Karstens starts, two beautifully DERPy photos were yesterday. DERPasaurus Jeff threw seven innings, and gave up two runs on two hits, struck out four, before he left with the score knotted at 2-2. 

The Pirates and Cards were actually having so much fun doing nothing that they decided to play for six hours, until the Pirates realized that they had a flight to catch to San Diego, and that spending a Sunday night hanging out in one of the best cities in the world was probably gonna be more fun than watching Adam Wainwright pinch hit, and eventually seeing some dopey position player (probably Skip Schumaker) throw 81 mph and get shelled in the 31st inning. So, Pedro Alvarez hit a bomb and Andrew McCutchen did an Andrew McCutchen-like thing to break the tie in the top of the 19th and put the Pirates ahead for good, and everyone went home because boring.

Jeff Karstens has a face, you guys, even if AP photogs are often too mesmerized by it to capture still images of it’s glory. 

This is the nineteenth installment in our ongoing tribute to him. And his face.

April 5th, 2012
Zoom More Vintage DADLAP - “The Willie McGee” fatshawnkemp: Willie McGee Requested by @NeutralFeatures

More Vintage DADLAP - “The Willie McGee”


Willie McGee

Requested by @NeutralFeatures

Reblogged from FAT SHAWN KEMP
August 23rd, 2011

EXCLUSIVE: An Interview with Matt Holliday’s Moth

A moth flew into, and got stuck in, Matt Holliday’s ear last night during a game against the Dodgers.

We had a chance to speak with that moth.

PO: So where are you right now?

Moth: I’m still in here…in Matt’s head. It’s dark, and there sure as hell’s been a lot of commotion overnight, but I’ll tell ya what, I love it here. The wife and I came out on vacation and just fell in with the place. Lookin’ forward to callin’ it home.

PO: So this is a permanent thing? Is not so much that you’re “stuck”, it’s that you’re putting your roots down?

Moth: Yeah. I mean, this place is huge. Lotsa room in here. The previous tenant even left a bunch of HD TVs mounted on the walls that loop the clip of Matt trying to catch a line drive with his penis against the Dodgers in the ‘09 playoffs. And the wife and I are expecting, so it just kinda made sense to upgrade to a bigger place.

PO: Where were you before?

Moth: Kevin Mench’s head. It was nice and all, but it’s getting kinda old, and we weren’t willing to pay to renovate. ‘Specially with 50 to 100 kids on the way.

PO: Did you guys consider moving to the Bay Area? I hear Bruce Bochy’s head is wonderful at this time of year.

Moth: We checked it out, but the front lawn is all overgrown with ear hair and it makes it damn near impossible to get in and outta the place.

PO: So what’s next for you?

Moth: We’ll build a family here, and I’ll keep workin’ hard every day, eating sweaters and slamming my face into light bulbs. Once the kids are grown up, it’d be nice to get a huge vacant lot and build a little retirement cottage there.

PO: And where might that be? 

Moth: Johnny Damon’s head. It’s enormous and virtually undeveloped. Like a lot of West Texas. 

Two musicians who love baseball, but don't take it too seriously.


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