Welcome to the almost-all-email edition. If this show sucks, you have only yourselves to blame!

We’ll probably take a hiatus after this one, as real life is inflicting itself upon us. We hope to be back soon!

(0:00-3:15) The open

(3:58-7:10) The musical guest: TEMPLES. Buy “Sun Structures” here.

(7:10-27:20) Email segment 1

(28:05-57:36) Emails segment 2

(58:10-1:07:47) The baseball things:

• Blue Jay never gon’ lose again
• DiPoto to Red Sawx
• Iwakuma no-no

(1:08:24-1:21:10) Musical advice

• Jordan asks how we listen to new albums
• Tony asks about buying used gear and our feelings about the current state of the Barves

(1:21:10-1:27:20) And the Old School Player of the Week is: AL COWENS

Al Cowens grades out as follows: DADHAT, 70 AFRO, 60 DADLAP, 70 DADGLASSES

Born in Compton, he could pass for Humpty Hump from Digital Underground in a baseball uniform. He looks confused as hell in most photos which is probably due in large part to this …

Cowens was drafted in the 75th round of the 1969 MLB draft, but managed to play 13 seasons in the bigs with the Royals, Angels, Tigers and Mariners as a right fielder. He peaked with the Royals in 1977 at age 25, posting an .885 OPS, w/ 23 HR & 112 RBI, a bWAR of 5.3, a second place finish in the AL MVP voting and a Gold Glove. He never sniffed that kind of production again and died of a heart attack at age 50. Baseball and life are weird things.

via Wikipedia:

A notable feud started between Cowens and Texas Rangers reliever Ed Farmer early in the 1979 season. In the May 8 game at Arlington Stadium, a Farmer pitch thrown in the top of the 5th inning fractured Cowens’ jaw and broke several teeth;[1] Cowens would miss 21 games. Farmer also hit Cowens’ teammate Frank White in the same game and broke his wrist[2] and caused him to miss 33 contests. The following year, in a game between the Detroit Tigers and the Chicago White Sox at Comiskey Park on June 20‚ 1980‚ Cowens (now a Detroit Tiger) hit an infield grounder against Farmer (pitching for the White Sox). While Farmer watched his infielder make the play, Cowens ran to mound and tackled the pitcher from behind, instead of running to first base; getting in several punches before the benches cleared and the two were separated.[2] Cowens was suspended for 7 games and a warrant was issued for his arrest in Illinois‚ forcing him to skip the remainder of the series. Later Farmer agreed to drop the charges in exchange for a handshake‚ and the 2 players brought out the lineup cards before the game on September 1. However, future appearances for Cowens in Chicago were greeted with a “Coward Cowens” banner.

Related: Ed Farmer seems like a dick.

Your favorite player probably got traded this week.

(0:00-4:30) The open.

(5:15-7:45) The musical guest: Ryley Walker. Buy “Primrose Green” here.

(7:45-17:30) Emails from people named Chris.

(18:15-40:45) Baseball things:

• Literally everyone was traded today. No one’s uniforms fit, and spelling errors abound. What are we going to do with all these leftover bobbleheads??
• Cueto & Zobrist to the Royals, Kazmir to the Astros, Tulo to the Blooj A’s, Latos & Morse to the Dodgers, Papelboner to the Nats, Hamels to Rangers, Gomez to Mets (OR NOT), LAD/ATL/MIA three-way

(41:17-46:40) Musical advice: If you choose to sit down at a show, have you given up on life?

(46:40-53:40) This week’s Old School Player of the Week is:

MIKE PROLY

I discovered this gem last week and couldn’t resist the urge to flood our Twitter feed with pics and things Mike Proly did. Some of my favorites …

1. Mike Proly wishes he didn’t have to wear that dumb [White Sox] uniform, amirite?
   
2. Mike Proly went a little overboard at the bar last night.
   
3. From Drew Fairservice: “Mike Proly drives a Trans Am. Mike Proly is the physical embodiment of despair on on a baseball card.”
   
4. Mike Proly locked himself out of his apartment and thinks he proly left the stove on.
   
5. Mike Proly thought his girlfriend Crystal was being honest when she said she was quitting stripping so she could go back to school.
   
6. Mike Proly thought he’d have more time to work on the 1983 Pontiac Firebird that’s been on blocks in his front yard for 17 years.
   
7. Mike Proly wishes he were “anywhere but here” ALL OF THE TIME.
   

Mike Proly could very easily pass for one of Will Forte’s SNL characters, and he is truly one of the saddest, mouselike humans to ever grace a baseball card. He’s got a 60 DADHAT, a plus plustache, 70 70s hair and 80 chest hair. Proly pitched in the bigs for seven seasons (from 1976 to 1983) with the Cards, White Sox, Phillies and Cubes, primarily as a reliever. He walked 195 batters and struck out 185 in 545 ⅔ innings, and had a career WHIP of 1.330. Proly is quoted extensively in a 1985 article from the Chicago Tribune on spitballs, Vaseline balls and ball-scuffing. Apparently he did all of those things to no avail. He now sells insurance.