April 1st, 2014
PRODcast 74: Kenley Jansen's One-Pitch Filth
Productive Outs
The PRODcast

Yeah, this podcast is dedicated to all the teachers that told us we’d never get past episode fitty. It’s all good, baby.

- It was all a dream: Not Jose Mota welcomes back the baseball season (0:00-7:12)

- We read your crazy-ass emails (7:45-28:45)

- Salt and Pepa and Animals as Leaders up in the limousine (29:2-34:15)

- Every Wednesday night, Evan Funk Davies, not Marley Marl (34:15-53:55)

- Baseball talk til my tape popped (54:42-1:20:11)

  • Mike Trout is rich (and very good at baseball)
  • Miguel Cabrera is also rich (and good at baseball) and the Tigers are dumb
  • Our respective divisional picks, wild card teams, NL & AL champs & WS champ

- Peace to Puig D, Cult Leader, KWC (1:21:05-1:27:55)

And if you don’t know, now you know…

May 5th, 2013

Miguel Cabrera Is A … Whatever, Just Watch This

This is Miguel Cabrera’s solo shot off of Jose Cisnero yesterday.


The pitch: A 1-0, 79-mph, get-me-over curveball that hung for so you’d think it was sitting on a tee adjusted to lower thigh-level.

The swing: So frustratingly pretty, controlled and effective. He’s so freaking serene as the pitch is released. (It’s probably fairly easy to exude that sort of confidence when you have the ability to make playing an extremely difficult game look laughably easy.) It’s beautiful; a conservative little load, an efficient stride, a slight hitch of the hands before the left foot gets down, and holy crap … once that front foot gets down, just watch his freaking hands. That is 100% pure, uncut swingpr0n. And mmm, that extension and high finish. ‘Tis a glorious sight.  My favorite thing is that after all of this beauty and baseball destruction, Cabrera is just like, “Hmph. Crushed another one,” on his way to going 4-for-4 with 6 RBI.


The velocity off the bat: 105.6 mph

The elevation angle: 26.3º

True distance: 412 feet

The verdict: You might be wondering why I picked a bomb that was only hit 412 feet, in a band box of a ballpark, against a pitching staff that is awful at best. The answer to that, is the ease with which Cabrera does this. Sure, he can make fielding, running and staying out of trouble look difficult at times, but this is ridiculous. It’s even more ridiculous because he catches this pus off the end of the bat and still hits a laser off the Crawford Boxes.

Two musicians who love baseball, but don't take it too seriously.


  • hermitologist HERMITOLOGY
  • teenarcher TEEN ARCHER