I end up looking at these lineup graphics on Gameday quite a bit. Relative to the rest of baseball, this is a surprisingly attractive team.

And then there’s Jamey Carroll. 

Is he insect? Reptile? Alien life form? 

This picture does not inspire confidence.

“HEY GUYZ WHAT I’M SPOSETA DO WIT DIS??”

Due up for the Twins:

1. Gritty sub-Mendoza hitting white guy required by MN state constitution
2. Dat ass
3. The Fresh Prince of Belle Plaine

Have you ever seen Twins manager Ron Gardenhire and this albino gorilla in the same place at the same time?

I rest my case.

(They’re twins, get it?)